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Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Ex-Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86 - Philadelphia Inquirer
Ex-Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86 - Philadelphia Inquirer

ABC News Ex-Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86 Philadelphia Inquirer - 57 minutes ago By Johanna Neuman WASHINGTON - Jesse Helms, 86, the former US senator from North Carolina who infuriated liberals on any number of issues and presidents of both parties with his use of senatorial privilege, died yesterday. Video: A Look Back At Jesse Helms CBS 5-time senator 'great patriot' who held fast to his beliefs Chicago Tribune Washington Post  - The Associated Press  - Detroit Free Press  - Seattle Times all 2,035 news articles

Mongolia to lift emergency rule - BBC News
Mongolia to lift emergency rule - BBC News

BBC News Mongolia to lift emergency rule BBC News - 1 hour ago The Mongolian government is set to lift a state of emergency imposed after deadly riots hit the capital Ulan Bator on Tuesday. Five people died and hundreds were injured in violent protests over alleged fraud in the general election. Calm in Mongolia as emergency rule nears end Reuters Curfew in downtown Ulan Bator lifted Xinhua Wall Street Journal  - The Press Association  - AFP  - International Herald Tribune all 1,419 news articles

Twin fires raging along California's central coast - Washington Post
Twin fires raging along California's central coast - Washington Post

Telegraph.co.uk Twin fires raging along California's central coast Washington Post - 1 hour ago By AMANDA FEHD AP BIG SUR, Calif. -- A pair of out-of-control wildfires roared along California's central coast Friday, chewing through opposite ends of a parched forest and threatening a total of more than 4500 homes. Video: Wind Keeps California Wildfires Raging AssociatedPress Two fires raging along Calif.'s Central Coast San Jose Mercury News Chicago Tribune  - Bloomberg  - Belleville News Democrat  - Ventura County Star all 905 news articles

World:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Iran says its nuclear stance unchanged - Reuters
Iran says its nuclear stance unchanged - Reuters

Canada.com Iran says its nuclear stance unchanged Reuters - 51 minutes ago TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran said on Saturday its nuclear stance had not changed and it was ready to hold talks with world major powers over its disputed nuclear programme based on international regulations. Germany receives Iran's reply to N-offer PRESS TV General: Attack on Iran would trigger war CNN International CNN  - Christian Science Monitor  - Xinhua  - Newsweek all 891 news articles

Mongolia to lift emergency rule - BBC News
Mongolia to lift emergency rule - BBC News

BBC News Mongolia to lift emergency rule BBC News - 1 hour ago The Mongolian government is set to lift a state of emergency imposed after deadly riots hit the capital Ulan Bator on Tuesday. Five people died and hundreds were injured in violent protests over alleged fraud in the general election. Calm in Mongolia as emergency rule nears end Reuters Curfew in downtown Ulan Bator lifted Xinhua Wall Street Journal  - The Press Association  - AFP  - International Herald Tribune all 1,419 news articles

Terrorists targeted to bomb cafe in West Sumatera - Xinhua
Terrorists targeted to bomb cafe in West Sumatera - Xinhua

BBC News Terrorists targeted to bomb cafe in West Sumatera Xinhua - 1 hour ago JAKARTA, July 5 (Xinhua) -- Terror suspects arrested in Indonesia recently had been preparing an attack on a cafe in the West Sumatra town of Bukittinggi, police said Saturday. 9 Terrorism Suspects Detained in Indonesia After a Raid Uncovers Bombs New York Times After timely raids and arrests, police need to address suspicions Jakarta Post AFP  - Reuters India  - Reuters  - Wall Street Journal all 629 news articles

U.S.:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Ex-Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86 - Philadelphia Inquirer
Ex-Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86 - Philadelphia Inquirer

ABC News Ex-Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86 Philadelphia Inquirer - 58 minutes ago By Johanna Neuman WASHINGTON - Jesse Helms, 86, the former US senator from North Carolina who infuriated liberals on any number of issues and presidents of both parties with his use of senatorial privilege, died yesterday. Video: A Look Back At Jesse Helms CBS 5-time senator 'great patriot' who held fast to his beliefs Chicago Tribune Washington Post  - The Associated Press  - Detroit Free Press  - Seattle Times all 2,035 news articles

Twin fires raging along California's central coast - Washington Post
Twin fires raging along California's central coast - Washington Post

Telegraph.co.uk Twin fires raging along California's central coast Washington Post - 1 hour ago By AMANDA FEHD AP BIG SUR, Calif. -- A pair of out-of-control wildfires roared along California's central coast Friday, chewing through opposite ends of a parched forest and threatening a total of more than 4500 homes. Video: Wind Keeps California Wildfires Raging AssociatedPress Two fires raging along Calif.'s Central Coast San Jose Mercury News Chicago Tribune  - Bloomberg  - Belleville News Democrat  - Ventura County Star all 905 news articles

Offer of a Vote for Sale Draws Unwanted Attention - New York Times
Offer of a Vote for Sale Draws Unwanted Attention - New York Times

eFluxMedia Offer of a Vote for Sale Draws Unwanted Attention New York Times - 1 hour ago By CHRISTINA CAPECCHI MINNEAPOLIS - A Minnesota college student looking to profit off his political indifference has been charged with a felony for trying to sell his vote on the auction Web site eBay. Minneapolis Teen Charged for Trying to Sell His Vote on eBay FOXNews College Student Tries to Sell Vote on E-Bay WCAV Pioneer Press  - News 10 Now  - eFluxMedia  - Minneapolis Star Tribune all 171 news articles

Business:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

European Bonds Post Fourth Weekly Gain on Interest Rate Outlook - Bloomberg
European Bonds Post Fourth Weekly Gain on Interest Rate Outlook - Bloomberg

European Bonds Post Fourth Weekly Gain on Interest Rate Outlook Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Anchalee Worrachate July 5 (Bloomberg) -- European two-year government notes rose for a fourth week, the longest winning streak since February, as traders pared bets policy makers will lift interest rates again this year after raising them two days ... Fighting Inflation, Europeans Raise Rate New York Times Bernanke's French Lesson Wall Street Journal International Herald Tribune  - MarketWatch  - Reuters  - Forbes all 1,849 news articles

Solar farms' impact to be explained - Arizona Daily Star
Solar farms' impact to be explained - Arizona Daily Star

Inhabitat Solar farms' impact to be explained Arizona Daily Star - 1 hour ago By Tom Beal The US Bureau of Land Management, which recently lifted its moratorium on applications for large solar projects in the Southwest, will host a hearing Tuesday in Tucson on the environmental impacts of solar farms on public lands. US government lifts ban on new solar plants Dallas Morning News US Lifts Moratorium on New Solar Projects New York Times Inhabitat  - CNNMoney.com  - Environmental Leader  - Christian Science Monitor all 250 news articles

Number of Those Unemployed For at Least 6 Months Rises - Wall Street Journal
Number of Those Unemployed For at Least 6 Months Rises - Wall Street Journal

New York Times Number of Those Unemployed For at Least 6 Months Rises Wall Street Journal - 2 hours ago By ANTON TROIANOVSKI WHEATON, Md. -- In another sign of the harsh toll being exacted by the economic downturn, the number of Americans unemployed for six months or more has risen sharply over the past year and is likely to increase even more. German Job Gains Could Be Short-Lived BusinessWeek Fragile economy takes toll on jobs Los Angeles Times The Associated Press  - ABC News  - CNNMoney.com  - Voice of America all 394 news articles

U.S. Elections:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Activist judges still pose threat - Baltimore Sun
Activist judges still pose threat - Baltimore Sun

Daily Mail Activist judges still pose threat Baltimore Sun - 1 hour ago The landmark decision of the Supreme Court on the Washington handgun law yielded two eye-opening revelations of critical importance to Americans ("Justices back gun owners," June 27). McCain's Supreme Court Judgment Calls Washington Post Supreme Agreement TIME MiamiHerald.com  - CBS News  - Dallas Morning News  - AFP all 115 news articles

A good-enough spy law - Los Angeles Times
A good-enough spy law - Los Angeles Times

ConnieTalk A good-enough spy law Los Angeles Times - 1 hour ago The FISA bill isn't perfect, but it's a compromise that the Senate should accept. By Nancy Soderberg In their rush to get home for their Fourth of July vacations, the members of the Senate left some important work on their desks -- the FISA Amendments ... Obama Responds to FISA Protest on His Web Site New York Times Obama Tries and Fails to Put Out the FISA Fire in His Own House Huffington Post Washington Post  - AHN  - Wake Up America  - PC Magazine all 38 news articles

Barack Obama now wears his patriotism on his lapel - Los Angeles Times
Barack Obama now wears his patriotism on his lapel - Los Angeles Times

The Associated Press Barack Obama now wears his patriotism on his lapel Los Angeles Times - 2 hours ago Jae C. Hong / AP FLAG-WAVER: Sen. Barack Obama and daughter Sasha are onlookers at an Independence Day parade in Butte, Mont. Tired of having his patriotism questioned, the Democratic candidate has made Old Glory a major visual element of his campaign. In Montana, Obama Tries to Rally Support on Iraq New York Times In Montana on the Fourth, a Barometer of Obama's Chances Washington Post The Associated Press  - Orlando Sentinel  - Fort Worth Star Telegram  - New York Daily News all 618 news articles

Sci/Tech:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Court order on YouTube user data fans privacy fears - Reuters
Court order on YouTube user data fans privacy fears - Reuters

Computerworld Court order on YouTube user data fans privacy fears Reuters - 2 hours ago By Kenneth Li and Eric Auchard NEW YORK/SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A US judge's order to Google Inc (GOOG.O: Quote, Profile, Research) to turn over YouTube user data to Viacom Inc (VIAb. • YouTube Ordered To Release User Data Washington Post Viacom vs. YouTube: Beyond Privacy BusinessWeek InternetNews.com  - Los Angeles Times  - San Jose Mercury News  - San Francisco Chronicle all 852 news articles

Firefox 3 Boosts Browser's Market Share Over 19% - InformationWeek
Firefox 3 Boosts Browser's Market Share Over 19% - InformationWeek

E Canada Now Firefox 3 Boosts Browser's Market Share Over 19% InformationWeek - 7 hours ago Gains came mostly from users upgrading from Firefox 2, while only a small portion came at the expense of Microsoft's Internet Explorer. Firefox Users Most Secure on Internet, Study Reveals CRN Does Your Browser Need an Expiration Date? PC Magazine Computerworld  - BetaNews  - Inquirer  - TechNewsWorld all 146 news articles

More drunken driving arrests, fewer fatalities so far this holiday ... - San Jose Mercury News
More drunken driving arrests, fewer fatalities so far this holiday ... - San Jose Mercury News

Washington Post More drunken driving arrests, fewer fatalities so far this holiday ... San Jose Mercury News - 11 hours ago More people have been arrested statewide for driving under the influence and less fatal crashes occurred the first day of this year's holiday weekend than in 2007, according to the California Highway Patrol. CHP July 4th holiday stats so far San Diego Union Tribune CHP urges travelers to play it safe this weekend Times-Standard Charlotte Observer  - The Associated Press  - San Francisco Chronicle  - KOGO all 271 news articles

Entertainment:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Fourth Of July Parade A Tribute To Independence - Jamestown Post Journal
Fourth Of July Parade A Tribute To Independence - Jamestown Post Journal

digitalBURG.com Fourth Of July Parade A Tribute To Independence Jamestown Post Journal - 1 hour ago By Christopher Kinsler, ckinsler@post-journal.com MAYVILLE - Sitting among the thousands Friday at Chautauqua County's Fourth of July parade in Mayville, Carol Warner donned a red shirt. WMass celebrates a soggy Fourth The Republican - MassLive.com A star-spangled Fourth, despite cloudy skies South Coast Today Dailyrecord.com  - Lufkin Daily News  - Charleston Gazette  - KARE all 345 news articles

Theron one of the guys to 'Hancock' team - Detroit Free Press
Theron one of the guys to 'Hancock' team - Detroit Free Press

First Showing Theron one of the guys to 'Hancock' team Detroit Free Press - 1 hour ago BY DONNA FREYDKIN • USA TODAY • July 5, 2008 She has been a serial killer, a crusading miner and a harried police detective. But a cinematic shrinking violet? 'Hancock' flawed, like its hero Cape Cod Times Violence, not comedy, colors 'Hancock' Sioux City Journal Charleston Gazette  - First Showing  - WNYT  - Aspen Times all 165 news articles

Chestnut again proves he's top dog at Nathan's contest - Newsday
Chestnut again proves he's top dog at Nathan's contest - Newsday

Ninemsn Chestnut again proves he's top dog at Nathan's contest Newsday - 1 hour ago BY JENNIFER MALONEY | jennifer.maloney@newsday.com Joey Chestnut gulped to victory Friday in a fast and furious five-dog overtime round, beating legendary speed eater Takeru Kobayashi at Nathan's Fourth of July International Hot Dog Contest on Coney ... US hotdog champ keeps title BBC News Champ retains NYC hot-dog eating title in overtime The Associated Press Reuters  - Monsters and Critics.com  - CNN  - ABC News all 6,454 news articles

U.S. Sports:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Easy wins by Gay, Felix - Orlando Sentinel
Easy wins by Gay, Felix - Orlando Sentinel

Citizen Easy wins by Gay, Felix Orlando Sentinel - 46 minutes ago The US Olympic Track and Field Trials began June 27 and will conclude Sunday in Eugene, Ore. The top three finishers in each final are guaranteed spots on the team heading to Beijing in August. US Is Bound to Have Strong Men’s 200 Team New York Times Felix, Gay advance easily at Olympic trials The Associated Press Hartford Courant  - Reuters  - ABC Online  - AFP all 131 news articles

Franck Perera Wins First Career Firestone Indy Lights Pole At Glen - Auto Racing Daily
Franck Perera Wins First Career Firestone Indy Lights Pole At Glen - Auto Racing Daily

TVNZ Franck Perera Wins First Career Firestone Indy Lights Pole At Glen Auto Racing Daily - 56 minutes ago Perera, making his second Firestone Indy Lights start after starting the season with two starts in the IndyCar Series, lapped the course in 1 minute, 37.8651 seconds, 123.967 mph in the final minute of the 30-minute session. Castroneves agrees to multiyear deal with Penske Indianapolis Star Montour Falls racing team to take shot in Glen 200 Press & Sun-Bulletin AutoWeek  - Motorsport.com  - USA Today  - Corning Leader all 215 news articles

Passed over three times, Hundley out to make most of call-up - San Diego Union Tribune
Passed over three times, Hundley out to make most of call-up - San Diego Union Tribune

National Post Passed over three times, Hundley out to make most of call-up San Diego Union Tribune - 1 hour ago By Tom Krasovic PHOENIX - Bat in hand, Nick Hundley smiled broadly yesterday, a few yards from a lineup card that showed him eighth in the Padres' order. New faces for Padres in Phoenix MLB.com Padres' Barrett goes on DL, will require surgery USA Today North County Times  - Tucson Citizen  - ESPN  - Sports Network all 176 news articles

Health:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Study suggests serotonin plays a role in SIDS - Los Angeles Times
Study suggests serotonin plays a role in SIDS - Los Angeles Times

Canada.com Study suggests serotonin plays a role in SIDS Los Angeles Times - 1 hour ago Mice who overproduced the brain chemical showed symptoms similar to those of the infant syndrome before they died. By Wendy Hansen, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Mice genetically engineered to overproduce the brain chemical serotonin died at an early ... SIDS Linked to Brain Chemical Dysfunction Washington Post Brain imbalance 'cot death key' BBC News Reuters  - WebMD  - The Associated Press  - Bloomberg all 252 news articles

Mosquito Control could be bitten by budget cuts - Tallahassee Democrat
Mosquito Control could be bitten by budget cuts - Tallahassee Democrat

Ontario Now Mosquito Control could be bitten by budget cuts Tallahassee Democrat - 2 hours ago By Jeff Burlew • ASSISTANT METRO EDITOR • July 5, 2008 Leon County commissioners are beginning budget talks next week, and once again, Mosquito Control could face cuts. West Nile virus, Lyme disease can spoil summer fun Worthington Daily Globe West Nile discovered in CV Crescenta Valley Sun Florida Times-Union  - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel  - The Associated Press  - Atlanta Journal Constitution all 446 news articles

Arizona crash injuries claim Eagle Mountain nurse - Deseret News
Arizona crash injuries claim Eagle Mountain nurse - Deseret News

The Southern Ledger Arizona crash injuries claim Eagle Mountain nurse Deseret News - 2 hours ago FLAGSTAFF, ARIZ. - An Eagle Mountain man who was the lone survivor of a midair helicopter crash here on Sunday died shortly after 10 am Friday at the Flagstaff Medical Center. Lone helicopter crash survivor dies Arizona Republic 7th victim of helicopter crash dies in hospital The Associated Press Sun Shopper  - Salt Lake Tribune  - MyFox Phoenix  - MyFox Utah all 170 news articles

San Juan Blogs:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

There are no news items at this time

Tourim Message Board:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Re: Best place to camp in the San Juan Islands?
Re: Best place to camp in the San Juan Islands?

San Juan County Park is the most beautiful view but no showers.  Lakedale is on 3 lakes and has showers.  It's pretty there too but the view from SJCP is rediculous!

Re: Questions about whale watching in the San Juan Islands...
Re: Questions about whale watching in the San Juan Islands...

San Juan Excursions has a beautiful boat and great guides.  You can find them at www.watchwhales.com    Loved it!

Re: Whale watching tours
Re: Whale watching tours

Orcas Island eclipse charters can pick you up for their whale watching tours right from the ferry landing.  They pick you up with their whale watching boat at the dock right next to the landing. http://www.orcasislandwhales.com Other than a couple rest...

Local Message Board:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Open Questions To Candidates
Open Questions To Candidates

”As a Town or a County Council member, what, if anything, will you do to influence the government of B.C to stop the release of raw sewage?” Full story here...

Dr. Dayton Killed In Fall
Dr. Dayton Killed In Fall

Dr. Eli Dayton of San Juan Island was pronounced dead after a fall from the roof of his house. Full story here...

Fire Season Is Upon Us
Fire Season Is Upon Us

(Capt. Rick Anda mopped up the last hot spots using water rather than destroying the natural vegetation with traditional hand tool work) Orcas Island Fire Department responded to a reported wildland fire threatening a home on Thursday, June 24th. Brush...

Island Guardian:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Council Bans Safe & Sane Fireworks

With only limited public comment, the County Council voted unanimously on Tuesday to ban the use of all fireworks in <p>on 06/04/08 at 07:38 AM</p>

July 15 Cut-Off Date For Popular Conservation Program

Washingtonâs most popular agricultural conservation program, the Environmental Quality Incentive Program (EQIP), now has a new application ranking cut-off date <p>on 06/05/08 at 05:57 AM</p>

Lecture Saturday By Wa Iditarod Sled Dog Racer

Laura Daugereau, Washingtonâs first woman to run in the Iditarod Sled Dog Race, is coming to San Juan Island for <p>on 06/05/08 at 06:13 AM</p>

The Journal:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

San Juan School District's athletic budget restored
San Juan School District's athletic budget restored

Down by $800,000 at the half, the San Juan Island School Board last week disclosed that by the end of the third quarter, they had nearly made a comeback, closing on their opponent — a nearly 10 percent budget shortfall — to less than $100,000. With three months to go, the $100,000 in cuts, which would have eliminated the entire athletic budget, has been averted thanks to an overwhelming and committed team effort and a spectacular end-of-the-quarter play by Islanders Bank, who came up with the last $5,400 to restore the high school’s athletic program to last year’s funding levels.

Do you know the men in this World War II-era photograph?
Do you know the men in this World War II-era photograph?

Peggy Cantrell of Friday Harbor saw the man take something out of the wallet he had just purchased at the Thrift Store, and toss it into the trash.

Airlift Northwest stations crews on San Juan Island for summer
Airlift Northwest stations crews on San Juan Island for summer

Airlift Northwest regional manager Jeff Richey is working with local EMS officials to post an air ambulance on San Juan Island for the summer.

SanJuanCalendar.com:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Monday, July 07th, 2008 - Movies: Hancock; WALL*E
Monday, July 07th, 2008 - Guided Meditation
Sunday, July 06th, 2008 - Movies: Hancock; WALL*E
Sunday, July 06th, 2008 - Sunday services: Friday Harbor Presbyterian Church
Sunday, July 06th, 2008 - Sunday Mass: St. Francis Catholic Church
Sunday, July 06th, 2008 - Sunday services: Christ The King Community Church
Sunday, July 06th, 2008 - Sunday services: Lutheran Church of the San Juans
Sunday, July 06th, 2008 - Sunday services: St. David's Episcopal Church
Saturday, July 05th, 2008 - Movies: Hancock; WALL*E
Saturday, July 05th, 2008 - Life and Times of General George Pickett

King 5:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Liberty's crown may reopen for first time since 9/11
Liberty's crown may reopen for first time since 9/11

The park service requested bids last month to study what it would take to safely open the Statue of Liberty's iconic headpiece to the public.

How to beat the traffic at the WaMu Family 4th
How to beat the traffic at the WaMu Family 4th

Lake Union has one of the nation's top fireworks shows, but getting there is a challenge.Try riding a bike

Couple arrested in Sultan for murder of ex-boyfriend
Couple arrested in Sultan for murder of ex-boyfriend

Detectives say the victim was killed by the woman's new boyfriend after the ex refused to move out.

Slashdot:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

Cassini's Primary Mission Ends, Two-Year Extension Begins
Cassini's Primary Mission Ends, Two-Year Extension Begins

wooferhound points out recent news that the Cassini probe has completed its original four-year mission and is beginning a two-year extended mission, which was authorized earlier this year. Cassini's first mission brought us a treasure trove of information about Saturn and its various moons. The new mission will target two of those moons in particular for further study: Titan and Enceladus. Quoting: "The spacecraft is extremely healthy and carries 12 instruments powered by three radioisotope thermoelectric generators. Data from Cassini's nominal and extended missions could lay the groundwork for possible future missions to Saturn, Titan or Enceladus. [The two moons] are primary targets in the two-year extended mission, dubbed the Cassini Equinox Mission. This time period also will allow for monitoring seasonal effects on Titan and Saturn, exploring new places within Saturn's magnetosphere, and observing the unique ring geometry of the Saturn equinox in August of 2009 when sunlight will pass directly through the plane of the rings." Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Working Towards an Eco-Friendly Fireworks Display
Working Towards an Eco-Friendly Fireworks Display

phobos13013 writes "Here's an article just in time for 4th of July fireworks shows! The ACS's Chemical and Engineering News provides a fairly technical discussion about the hazardous chemicals in modern fireworks displays. Perchlorate is currently the oxidizer of choice in fireworks, but it is also known to be a thyroid blocker. Since perchlorates are water-soluble anions, they dissolve into groundwater quickly. A study performed last summer over a lake in Ada, Oklahoma showed that less than a day after a fireworks display, the lake's chlorate levels jumped by a factor of 1,000. It took weeks for the levels to drop back down to their baseline. On the other hand, heavy metals are used to produce the pretty colors typically associated with the best fireworks. The trend is to start using nitrogen-based oxidizing fireworks; they produce less smoke, which means a smaller amount of colorizing agents can be used in displays." Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Interview With Author of the First Spoof Language
Interview With Author of the First Spoof Language

An anonymous reader brings us Computerworld's interview with Don Woods, one of the creators of Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym (INTERCAL). INTERCAL and its documentation were created in 1972 as a parody of that era's languages and instruction manuals. Among other things, Woods had this to say: "We designed the language without too much trouble. Writing the manual took a while, especially for things like the circuit diagrams we included as nonsensical illustrations. The compiler itself actually wasn't too much trouble, given that we weren't at all concerned with optimising the performance of either the compiler or the compiled code. I admit I'm surprised at its longevity. Some of the jokes in the original work feel rather dated at this point. It helps that the language provides a place where people can discuss oddball features missing from other languages, such as the 'COME FROM' statement and operators that work in base 3." Read more of this story at Slashdot.

The Onion:

Last updated on Sat, 5 Jul 2008

An Open Letter To Those Of You Who Blew Off My Arbor Day Party
An Open Letter To Those Of You Who Blew Off My Arbor Day Party

I'll admit, Arbor Day isn't as big a holiday as Thanksgiving or Independence Day. But to my mind, it's every bit as special. It signifies the symbiotic relationship we have with the land in a way that no other holiday does, not even Easter. It is The Little Holiday That Could and, as such, it holds a special place in my heart—a place I thought I could share with my closest friends and coworkers. Well, I guess you all showed me.

Those Motherfucking Robins Are On Thin Ice With Me
Those Motherfucking Robins Are On Thin Ice With Me

Ever since my retirement last month from the sock factory, I've had a lot of extra time to spend around the yard. But the hours of pleasurable pruning I had planned to enjoy with my new cordless rechargeable Master Clipper have been cruelly withheld from me. Instead, my afternoons have been spent in an unending feud with those motherfucking robins that infest my yard. All my attempts to coexist with these creatures on my meticulously trimmed, lush suburban lawn have failed, leaving me with no choice but to exterminate them. Do you hear me, you lousy, cocksucking robins? This is war!

[audio] Endangered Manatee Struggles To Make Self Understood To Congress
[audio] Endangered Manatee Struggles To Make Self Understood To Congress

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland


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